


Wherein Karkat might just learn to listen to his future self

by Animeangel1798



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Lots of denial, M/M, Pesterlog, Slow Romance, Trollian, angsty beginning, future and past shenanigans, karkat in denial
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-17 14:56:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3533621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animeangel1798/pseuds/Animeangel1798
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"DAMN IT!" Karkat threw the closest thing against the wall, which just so happened to be one of the many clown horns that Karkat hadn't gotten around to cleaning up yet. The sound it made as it hit just made Karkat even more enraged. "FUCKING SHIT!!" he punched a wall and the sight of his own blood when his nails dug into his skin to hard drained all the rage from him. He watched daze for a minute as the bright red liquid dripped slowly down his arm before the first frustrated tear came and he screamed. A raw, quiet, throaty scream that trailed off into a quite keen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This has been swimming around in my head ever since I heard this song. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOzr79-fLDM
> 
> it's amazing! Anyway enjoy!! (also if you want to know how to do the formatting let me know and I'll link you!)

"DAMN IT!" Karkat threw the closest thing against the wall, which just so happened to be one of the many clown horns that Karkat hadn't gotten around to cleaning up yet. 

The sound it made as it hit just made Karkat even more enraged. "Fucking shit!" he punched a wall and the sight of his own blood when his nails dug into his skin to hard drained all the rage from him. 

He watched daze for a minute as the bright red liquid dripped slowly down his arm before the first frustrated tear came and he screamed. A raw, quiet, throaty scream that trailed off into a quite keen. 

He was so angry. He'd been so stupid. Why hadn't he listened? What the fuck had past him been thinking? Hadn't he leaned by now that past him was dumber than future him? Every time he'd denied and refused to listen and for what? Where was he now? Alone in his room with his own blood slowly dripping out of him. He'd had so many opportunities to do what he'd wanted. To take what he wanted without resistance but he hadn't. He'd been to deep in denial and now he'd never have it.   
He should have listened. 

Suddenly he heard trollian ding and he looked up. At the sight of the grey text reading PAST carcinoGeneticist. [PCG] 120 hours ago is online. Karkat snarled a little. That little bulge-lick. This time he'd make him listen. Past Karkat had better watch out because there was no way he was letting him end up this way. Not when they had been so close. 

He clicked the little grey bubble and began to type. Hoping he could have a break through and that, for once, past him would listen. Just this once.


	2. Back to the future (but really the past)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pov switch to past Karkat who will be present Karkat from now on unless otherwise stated.

Karkat slammed the door behind him as he stormed into his respiteblock. He needed some space from everybody. Specifically John though. The human just rubbed him the wrong way. Karkat sighed and sunk to the floor. He was exhausted. The humans had only been here a few days and already they were causing chaos.

Dave and John had already confused most of the trolls with there friendship so much that half were convinced they were matesprits and the other half moirails and no matter how many times Karkat explained they wouldn't believe that they weren't in a quadrant. Rose eventually had to step in and explain everything better than Karkat could.

Karkat figured she would know more because she was human and she'd know the two boys a very long time and was, as she said, "An expert on the bromance" she seemed to use that word in a weird way. Almost as if it was an inside joke "of Dave Strider and John Egbert." she seemed all together amused by the trolls confusion. Like she'd been told the punch line before everybody else got to hear the joke. Karkat couldn't even hate her for it. She was the calmest, least chaotic human and kept the others in line for the most part.

Even though John was the unspoken leader she was the one that kept all the small things together in their group. Karkat sat down at his husktop, not bothering to check trollian, he didn't want to talk right now. A few minutes later his husktop blipped at him and Karkat frowned then sighed it was probably John wondering where he was and if he was okay.

John just didn't understand that Karkat didn't want anything to do with him and it was infuriating! He let trollian pop up anyway. He'd just get it over with. It came up and he expected blue text, what he got was a long line of grey text stareing at him like a slap to the face. Karkat grimace, what could his future self want now? Was something else going to go wrong a few days from now?

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FGC] began trolling. Current carcinoGeneticist [CGC]

FCG: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP NOOKWIFF I AM OUT OF PATIENCE AT THE MOMENT SO SIT DOWN SHUT UP AND LISTEN. DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE THAT I DID. LISTEN TO ME, IF ONLY BECAUSE IF YOU SAY NO A SECOND LATER IT WILL BE PAST US WHO SAID IT AND WE BOTH KNOW, I MORE THAN YOU, THAT OUT PAST SELF IS A FUCKING IDIOT WHO WOULDN'T KNOW GOOD ADVICE IF HE GAVE IT TO HIMSELF. OH WAIT I AM!

Karkat sighed CCG: AND WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED GREAT AND MIGHTY ADVICE? YOU CAN'T FUCKING YELL AT ME FOR SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW YET ASSHOLE!

The grey text appeared once more

FCG: JEGUS FUCK I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP AND LISTEN! THIS NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF DELICATELY. BUT FUCK THAT. YOU HAVE OR WILL SOON HAVE FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR JOHN FUCKING EGBERT AND BELIEVE ME IF YOU DON'T TELL HIM ABOUT THEM YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET IT MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD! SO YOU CAN PULL YOU'RE HEAD OUT OF YOU'RE NOOK AND TELL THE HUMAN THAT YOU WANT HIM IN THE REDDEST WAY POSSIBLE AND ENGAGE IN SLOPPY MAKE OUTS!

Karkat blinked. He read and re-read the words before laughing. His future self had officially gone insane. He couldn't stand John Egbert.

Maybe he should be worried about his apparent future breakdown but he figured it was five days away he didn't have to worry about it at the moment. And besides there was no way he'd be dumb enough to think he could have John in any quadrant.

Humans weren't made for quadrants and Karkat didn't even hate him in the right way for a kismesis and gods knows John would never be a good moirail. He was to clueless. Karkat glared a little as he answered his future self

CCG: YOU'VE ROTTED YOUR THINKPAN SOMEHOW! THERE'S NO WAY I COULD EVER VIEW THAT ASSHOLE AS ANY TYPE OF QUADRANTMATE LET ALONE MATESPRIT! YOU'RE PATHETIC IF YOU THINK I'LL EVER HAVE RED FEELINGS FOR THAT FUCKING IDIOT!

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist CCG blocked FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG]


	3. Deception, Disgrace (aka Rose knows how to smack a bitch)

After that Karkat made sure to pointedly ignore John. It seemed to hurt John's feelings more than any yelling would. Every time he saw the sad look on John's face he felt a sense of smug satisfaction. His future self was an idiot.

He kept up the ignore act for all of 1 and a half days when Dave came up and punched him in the nose for it. Spouting some bullshit about making John cry.

Karkat exploded at him, mutant blood dripping slowly down his face, "Fuck you Strider! I don't want anything to do with any of you and John needed to take a hint. Leave me the fuck alone!"

Dave stared for a second then shook his head "You don't want anything to do with us? Fine but don't come around asking for anything if you change your mind. Also Rose said she's going to have a talk with you. You see we're all very protective of John and you hurt his feeling pretty bad. Good luck with that." then he turned and walked away.

Karkat glared after him for a second before laughing "Lalonde can't do anything. Ooh she'll have a talk with me, I'm so fucking scared!"

he grumbled about it for the rest of the day. Once more pointedly ignoring John and avoiding Lalonde as best as possible. He wasn't scared of her but he didn't particularly want to fake listen to her speech. Whenever he did happen to be in a room with John for more than a second he loved messing with him. He'd go up like he was going to acknowledge him then look right past him and do something else.

He loved seeing the quick rise and fall of the hope in his eyes. John was a social creature. He just wanted to be everybody's friend. The fact that Karkat wouldn't even consider it, or even acknowledge him, tore him up inside and Karkat could see that.

It may be vicious and slightly cruel, clearly this was John's weak spot, but Karkat had to make it clear that the boy wasn't wanted. To John and himself.

So he treasured the slight tears he saw rush to John's eyes and the way he walked quickly from the room without a word. Well he treasured it right up until Rose walked quickly over and slapped him in the face. Karkat stared at her in disbelief for a second before he growled warningly.

Rose just glared calmly back "We're going to have a talk."

Her voice was sharp as glass and calm as the ocean before a storm.

Karkat glared "There's nothing to talk about."

Rose sighed "You and I both know there is something to talk about. John has confided to me that you are the reason he's upset and after the display I just saw I can see why. You claim to want nothing to do with us yet you appear to aspire for just the opposite. You are purposely escalating the situation and we all know it. You'll apologize to John wherein he will immediately forgive you, because that's just who he is, and everything will go back to normal."

Karkat laughed meanly "And how will you make me do that? You have no leverage! I hate John and he needs to get that through his thick think pan. I don't want to be his friend, or his buddy, or even friendly acquaintances! He's disgustingly happy and everything about him makes me hate him."

Rose sighed "I was afraid of this. I will simply have to go with plan B." she turned to the doorway "Kanaya you may come in now."

Karkat snarled. She was sicking Kanaya on him? This was fucking stupid.

Kanaya came into the room and gave Karkat a disapproving look "Rose told me about the situation. Can we not live in piece? Do you need me to step in as auspistice?"

Karkat glared "No. We do not need an auspistice! There will be no quadrant between me and John ever. My hate for him is more platonic than anything in the fucking universe. I want him to leave me alone and stop being so goddamn cheerful." Kanaya sniffed a little "Well you've gotten both of those. He's been very mopey this whole day. And he hasn't said a word to you since yesterday."

That stopped Karkat's next argument in it's tracks. John Egbert being mopey? That would be the day! But then again Dave had said he'd even cried... No. He refused to feel bad about this. He'd done what he had to do to make the humans leave him alone and if he could these two off his back he'd be in the clear.

Karkat sighed "I won't apologize." he began in a rough tone "but I won't antagonize him anymore and I'll stop ignoring him. If he leaves me alone I'll leave him alone."

Rose and Kanaya shared a look before Rose sighed delicately "I suppose that will have to do for now but if I hear you've hurt his feelings again we'll have another, much longer, conversation and Jade and Dave will want in on it. You haven't seen Jade mad yet have you? It's a sight to behold."

Karkat sighed "Whatever. Can I go now?"

Rose nodded and Karkat left immediately. He grumbled about it but he'd keep his promise. He'd stop ignoring John and at least try to keep his fragile emotions from getting hurt. Well at least by anything Karkat did everybody else had free range apparently.

He stomped into his respite block only to hear his trollian ding twice and go silent. He grimaced, who was it now? He wandered over and groaned at the wall of grey text. His future self had been busy, and had somehow gotten around the block. Karkat sighed and began to read

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 110 HOURS FROM NOW began trolling CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG]

FCG: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW. STOP IGNORING JOHN! YOU'RE JUST GOING TO MAKE IT HARDER FOR YOURSELF.

FCG: DON'T IGNORE ME DAMN IT!

FCG: YOU'RE NOT THERE ARE YOU? FUCK IT'S THE DAY WHERE I DIDN'T GO BACK TO MY RESPITE BLOCK ISN'T IT?

FCG: SHIT IT IS.

FCG ceased trolling CCG

Karkat rolled his eyes but kept reading.

FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 84 HOURS FROM NOW began trolling CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG]

FCG: GOD DAMN IT! WHERE ARE YOU? HAS ROSE TALKED TO YOU YET? YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO HER! APOLOGIZE TO JOHN!

FCG: FUCKING ANSWER ME YOU NOOKSTAIN!

Karkat sighed and began to type

CCG: WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP? YES ROSE TALKED TO ME. NO I WON'T APOLOGIZE. AND YES YOU'RE STILL FUCKING INSANE. JOHN EGBERT IS A PATHETIC ASSHOLE WHO SEEMS TO FINALLY BE SHUTTING UP. AND I WON'T APOLOGIZE FOR IT.

FCG: OH FUCK. I FEEL SORRY FOR MY PAST FUTURE SELF BECAUSE HE HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT. LET ME SPELL THIS OUT FOR YOU. JOHN EGBERT IS THE MOST AMAZING PERSON YOU WILL EVER MEET AND IF YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING HE WILL NEVER BE YOURS

Karkat glared 

CCG: WHEN WILL IT GET THROUGH TO EVERYBODY THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT JOHN EGBERT! I HATE HIM AND I HATE YOU. GET OVER WHATEVER PUT THE STUPID IDEA IN YOUR HEAD AND LEAVE ME ALONE. FUTURE ME IS ALWAYS AN IDIOT AND WE BOTH KNOW IT.

the grey text took a second to respond and the tone of the reply seemed resigned

ALL RIGHT. YOU ASKED FOR THIS. I'LL KEEP TRYING THOUGH. YOU'LL SEE EVENTUALLY. IT ONLY MATTERS HOW SOON.

FCG ceased trolling CCG

Karkat swallowed at the uneasy feeling the reply gave him but he ignored it. He sighed and rubbed his face. He was tired as fuck and just wanted this day over with. He shut off his husktop and crawled into his recuperation unit. He was asleep almost instantly, though disturbed dreams that seemed to center around John's hurt face swirled in his head.


	4. Karkat-----> Be John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John pov of the first 2 chapters

You do not understand. You already were John... oh well. John smiled as Dave pecked him on the cheek. They'd only started dating that day but John was glad they did. He had thought Karkat had liked him for a minute there but then Karkat had just seemed to lose interest. 

Either way John was happy with Dave. Karkat had seemed mad when they told everyone they were together, but then again Karkat was always mad so maybe it had just been his imagination. Even if John had had slight feelings for Karkat he'd drop them and be with Dave. 

Dave was his best friend after all and second place didn't always mean second best. John hummed happily and snuggled into Dave's hug. Life was good, for now, though the game wasn't over yet he'd take what moments of peace he could find.

John: Be Past-John

That's silly. Why would u be past when you can be present? Anyway today Karkat had seemed angrier than usual, he'd stormed off in the middle of John trying to talk to him. John sighed and flopped onto his bed, the Crosbytop ejecting from his sylladex right where he wanted it. He went to pesterchum and saw Dave online. He smiled

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead[TG]at 21:15 --

EB: Hey Dave

TG: Sup John. Need something?

EB: Not really... Karkat stormed off again. >:(B

TG: Hate to break it to you John but Karkles isn't exactly friendly. Of course he walked away.

John pouted a little

EB: He didn't have to be so mean about it though!

TG: *sigh* Look Egbert. Karkitty doesn't like us, his loss and all but it's true. He's kind of an asshole if you haven't noticed. He's not going to like you trying to be all buddy buddy with him.

John sighed with a frown

EB: I guess your right... Not going to stop me though >:)B

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]at 21:20 --

TG: Cold blooded Egbert, God speed dork.

John smiled, he felt better after talking to Dave. He wanted to be friends with everyone and Karkat was just going to have to get used to it. John decided to go to bed, He wanted a good night sleep. He put his crosbytop away and settled down. He had a nice, dreambubble-less sleep


End file.
